In business we follow this cycle:
We have a thought or perhaps more commonly known as an idea about something that we could/should do. So we go about planning and taking some action which as a consequence generates a result.
But it isn’t that simple – you can have a ‘right thought’ or a good idea and then take the right action(s) but not get the results that we are hoping for or deserve for our effort.
That’s because there is a link missing in the cycle, a missing component that influences our success.
Every thought or idea that we have creates a feeling or emotion within us that will influence the actions we take and the results we get.
Now let us think about the wider concept of thinking too here because there is a big underlying challenge with thinking.
An average person on an average day has sixty to eighty thousand thoughts per day!
It is true that around 80% of those thoughts are the same each and every day and are habitual, things like thinking ‘breathe’ or ‘blink’when our eyes are dry etc are habitual.
But even taking those into account the rest, around 400 for every ten minutes, we simply cannot process them all or remember them and so only around 50% of our thoughts are we truly aware of.
However, what this means is that many of our thoughts are caught in our sub-conscious which like an iceberg, where only a small part can be seen, can be the most dangerous. This is the home of limiting beliefs and other ‘glitches’ in our human operating system.
Now you can work at a thought level but looking at the numbers of thoughts it is easy to see how coaching and counselling to process or remove those thoughts can be a lengthy journey.
However, if you go back to the ‘missing’ element and look at emotions then this process can be simpler and more time efficient as there are only around 9 different categories of emotions.
When you are experiencing ‘above the line’ emotions you are generally more positive and when you are a experiencing ‘below the line’ emotions you are generally more negative.
If you are ‘above the line’ then you are more likely to take better actions and get better results as these emotions have positive energy behind them.
The line represents the resistance we naturally have to stepping up out of the below the line emotions. In almost all cases,except when we are in Pride, the below the line emotions feel painful or uncomfortable, but we still fear changing something and stepping outside of our comfort zone even if it is at a subconscious level.
According to Byron Katie, resistance to accepting reality causes suffering.
Take a moment to reflect on that, what she is basically saying is that we suffer when we fight reality.
Can you think of a time where you were frustrated because a team member or client didn’t do something the way that you wanted them to?
That frustration is borne out of a fight with reality.
Let me give you an example to demonstrate.
I once worked with the managing director of an IT support firm and his team, doing DiSC profiling. The MD had come to me with an idea of what his profile was but wanted my help as he was aware that his behaviour in work sometimes wasn’t the most effective.
When we talked a little more and the reason he engaged my help was because he was getting increasingly frustrated and irritable with his team.
He was the one was suffering (from the frustration) because they hadn’t done things the way he wanted them to.
I asked him a series of questions which were along the lines of:
1) Was the customers problem fixed, were they happy?
2) Did it take longer than it should have done?
3) Were any issues caused by the way the team had handled the issue?
In all cases the answer was no.
So, with my help he was then able to accept the reality that the team didn't do things his way and step out of his resistance to his team doing things in a different way. He was able to have the courage to let the team do their work their way (within certain guidelines).They were empowered and he could end his suffering or frustration.
By dealing with the emotions around the situation the actions and results in the business changed positively too.
For help with taking a different perspective on your team challenges or for support to develop a high performing team, book a conversation with me and let’s explore how my coaching programmes could help you.
